Good friends support a marriage: Marriages are the best demonstrations of C.S. Lewis’ point that groups of friends amplify enjoyment of each individual. We often fall in love with someone for things they do when they are interacting with others; withdrawal from other relationships removes this pleasure. A close friend is able to personally remind a frustrated wife that her husband is a faithful man who loves her very much, or call a confused husband to simple obedience. Young married life thrives on support, not seclusion.

It’s not either/or, it’s both/and: My dad loves saying this. It’s the best response to young couples that say they aren’t sustaining deep friendships due to their commitment to a deep marriage. If the dilemma is friendship or marriage, you know where to go. But finding yourself in this dilemma is the third most serious problem you could possibly have, following problems with God and problems your spouse. Make time for the people around you before you make time for anything else.

The grass is greener from far away: If superficial interaction with others is all we have besides our spouse, it is very easy to think our relationship is the only one with challenges, or our spouse the only one with weaknesses. Flee this temptation by getting up close and personal with others, among them people you’re prone to idealize. Ask old lovers how they worked out early differences. Great refreshment is found in realizing our failures aren’t abnormal or debilitating.

Tis much better to give than receive: Two people in love are very sweet, sometimes too sweet; a marriage will rot if its fruit is not given away.