Stan’s mom: Stanley, you know you’re the most important thing to me, right?
Stan: If that’s true, then get back together with Dad, for me!
Stan’s mom: Stanley, you have to understand how divorce works. When I say you’re the most important thing to me, what I mean is you’re the most important thing after me and my happiness and my new romances.
Stan: Oh.

I don’t necessarily advocate taking marriage advice from South Park, but this satire of the divorce mentality is particularly spot-on.